Wednesday, 12:28-12:35, July 23, 2008 Mama died while waiting to see her family united and healed. All the medical people were amazed at Mama's strngth and how long Mama hung on to life. To see my family healed and gathered together was my mother's lifelong hearts desire.

My sisters claim that Mama's regained consciousness after I left on Monday to yell "God help me!", Tuesday briefly enough to yell and accuse "Stop! You are trying to kill me!" whenever they touched her. They kept her on morphine in a fine balance between overdose and pain control, and claim that she appeared beautiful and at peace.  

I had spoken to Mama on the phone at noon, half an hour before she died, telling her goodbye and that I loved her, and went outside to pray for her, for God to take her, to pray her through.    

My sisters were not in the room with Mama when Mama died.  This is common for people to die when others are not in the room.  I have a very strong hunch that my sisters were fighting again while Mama died.  My sisters assigned the time of death to correlate to my Mother's birthday.  At 12:33 I knew in my spirit that Mama had already passed.

After the miraculous answer to prayer of God opening the blockage in Mama's intestine, Mama rallied for a few days at the thought and hope of a family reunion, yet it became evident after a few days that a family reunion was not going to happen and Mama's spirits sank and Mama wasn't ingesting enough liquids and nourishment and her body was starting to shut down. Some very kind nurses were put on my mother's case, until her release to my single oldest sister Eugenie's 9 room house for hospice.

I flew to Sacramento Monday before last Monday afternoon.

Rushing down the aisle when the plane landed, a man shoved his leg between mine from his seat and told me to wait my turn to exit the plane. I became a brutal accuser in the line nazi's ear "I hope someone blocks your way when you are going to visit your dying mother. I bet your mother is real proud of you for growing up to become a line nazi. You should be ashamed of yourself." I think the pop bottle poking out the front of my backpack that I was carrying in front of me might have jabbed him in his (cute) hiney a couple times as we shuffled off the plane. I feel awful about having done that. I repent and ask God to help me overcome a nasty streak that I am becoming aware of.

My oldest brother Toto also arrived from out of state Monday night. We woke up Tuesday morning to Mama ringing her little bell as Eugenie screaming repeatedly to Tassinka, "Go fuck yourself!" because Tassinka had called a nurse while playing favorites with Mama.

At one time when I started raising issues of conflict Eugenie told me to shut up or she would call the sheriff to throw me out when I pointed out that it was exactly like when Eugenie and Tassinka had told me to go fuck myself . She ran to the phone to call the sheriff, with Tassinka and Toto following her. My youngest brother Ted encouraged Eugenie to call the cops on me. Mama started yelling from her deathbead, "Stop! Don't call the cops! For God's sake stop! For God's sake!" Eugenie did not call the cops. Praise God. That would have been a disaster to the reunion dinner planned for later that day. Mama admonished us to work together, deal with and transcend our egos and dysfunction. Mama claimed that Eugenie had been telling her to drop dead. (Both my sisters have a much holier than thou attitude, and that they would never ever say a bad word... whereas I have defined the term "Rip a new asshole" in the Urban Dictionary.  Needless to say, no family issues or conflicts were discussed or resolved during this rare meeting.)

And that Tuesday afternoon, for the very first time in Mama's 80 year life, all five of Mama's grown children gathered together just to honor her. Mama was too close to death to be able to sit up or get out of bed, so we moved the dinner table next to her hospital bed placed in Eugenie's family room. Mama kept asking when her grandchildren were coming, insisting that we ALL needed to be together.

We experienced an incredibly precious time together as Mama gave each of us a personal farewall toast and last words about awakening to our life's purpose, and we toasted Mama with our love for her and for never having given up on us. Then Mama took some pictures of us while pleading with us to try and look like we genuinely loved one another. Then we had a last family dinner together with Mama, who ate a couple bites of a specially prepared spaghetti.

Praise God for Eugenie and Tassinka for caring for Mama until the end, for Eugenie opening her home to family and her hospitality, and Tassinka for doing so much chauffering. Everybody pitched in to help with caring for Mama, preparing meals, and washing up dishes.

Until the very end, the blockage in her intestines remained open. Mama lived a long full life. May God bless her abundantly with His Miracles, and that Mama remain in eternity in His love, acceptance, and freedom from all pain. R.I.P. Mama. I have always loved you and I always will.

I praise and thank God Almighty for the last few years with Mama developing a healthy and loving relationship.  She missed out getting to know me so little and so little about me (she had her mind made up that I was one of her enemies until a couple years ago and realized some of my achievements)... we all missed out... but I am glad that we were becoming truly "friends" who loved, accepted, shared, and could relate and talk to each other and that she knew that I loved her and was truly there for her.   That's a blessing.